“He loves you more than me”, I told my husband as I enviously watched our pup lick him all over his face as they both lay carelessly on the sofa watching TV and seemed to be having a ‘quality time’ while I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. To be honest, I was jealous! Our pup – Happy is two and a half years old, and always seems to be more attached to my husband. Why not? He always plays the good cop, and I am the bad cop as per our pup. I am strict, and use commands sternly. While he is gentle, and very lenient with him. The only time I see Happy trying to flatter me is when he is hungry, or when he wants someone to throw his balloons up in the air so that he can jump and hit it with his big black nose only to see it go higher, and continue hitting it with his nose, or when he is unable to find his bones which I usually find under the table.
I often felt that I was not rewarded enough for the hard work I did for our pup. I had struggled a lot while training him to walk on leash (I still do!). I did all the dirty things such as cleaning his mess after he pooped all over the carpeted floor (and sometimes it splashed on to the walls), cleaning the sheets after he puked or peed on it, while he hardly snuggled with me. I was resentful! Every time, I saw my husband and him snuggling and bonding, I would turn green with jealously.
The last few weeks have been very hard for the entire human race. Corona virus has taken a toll over all our lives. People have lost loved ones, jobs, and their peace of mind. It seems to be taking forever for everything to settle down. Life seems to have slowed down and paused for many. It was not the case for us though! While people were loosing jobs, my husband got an amazing job offer that required us to relocate, and required him to travel cross country, even during this dreadful pandemic situation. Isn’t that the oath you take when you sign up for being a physician?
That left me and my pup in a new city which seemed like a ghost town due to the lockdown. I was already desparately missing my older place which was so familiar to me, and I was struggling to get back into my workout regime, and my healthy lifestyle. My usual rhythm of life was lost. I felt lonely, and depressed. I slept until late in the morning, which was very unusual for me. I was always proud to be a part of the 5 a.m club. I felt unhappy with the change and was often upset. One day, on a rainy afternoon, I crawled into the bed and started sobbing in an uncontrollable manner. I could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air in between. As I held my stomach while crying, I was suddenly startled when I felt a wet touch on my face. It was our pup licking me all over my face, and nudging me with his big black wet nose. He stared at me with his big eyes for a second, and resumed his licking. I had not expected this from him, although I had longed for it. I immediately hugged him and he relaxed into my arms, and placed his head on my lap and stared at me with his innocent eyes until I stopped crying.
That moment was everything I could have ever wished for. We snuggled, and he continued licking my face again until I realized that I was finally smiling! Within a few moments, my thoughts changed from being lonely and depressed to being grateful – grateful for the longed love I had finally found. That night, he slept near my bed as if as he wanted to make sure that I was doing ok. The next morning, when I woke up, I found my pup sleeping next to me with his long legs stretched towards my chest. Everything seemed so different! It was a strange feeling – I was simply at peace. I no more bothered about whether Happy loved my husband more than me or not. At that moment, it was simply enough that he was there for me when I needed someone to comfort me the most. I realized that he had a different way of showing love towards me.
That morning, as I sat down with a hot cup of coffee staring outside at the grey skies, I felt blessed at the discovery that me and our pup shared a very unique bond – a bond of silent understanding! He came to me whenever he lost his bones because he believed that I would find it for him no matter what! He trusted me. Now that I was upset, it was his turn to show his purpose. As I finally did some yoga that morning, he sat next to me. It was the most picture perfect moment. It was enough that he loved me when I needed it the most!We both were silent, but we both knew that we would always be there for each other, no matter what!
As Rumi says –
“Listen to silence. It has so much to say”
